The Gentleman of E Dock

…

May 26, 2025

For the benefit of our new subscribers, let me make clear that this column is being written by an almost 2-year-old Golden Doodle. I am dictating this through my she-human, with the assistance of Google Translate.

We are currently on a boat, escaping all the chaos of the world, as my humans try to maintain some semblance of life balance. As their dog, I am in service to this mission, and I daresay they would not be smiling as much if I were not around. Otherwise, they would be spending too much time watching folks yelling on TV.

If you are a human reading this, can you relate to the need to turn off the news, but aren’t sure about what to do next? Take my advice, and get a dog.

Then, buy them a boat.

That’s what my humans did, and I can offer details to your four-legged family member that will convince them of the wisdom of this course of action.

The top ten reasons to have a dog and a boat

Ten—You will never be bored.

Nine—You won’t have the television set on all the time.

Eight—You can take your dog out any time you want without having to get in an elevator.

Seven—Sounds. There are all kinds of glorious sounds surrounding you at all times. Birds. Things splashing in the water.

Six—You and your dog can sit on the flybridge with a beverage and watch folks come and go, carrying canvas bags with stuff, or walking a dog. And, they will call out and say, ‘Hey Dudley!’ —or whatever your dog’s name it. One man calls me the ‘Gentlelman of E Dock.’

Five—People are nice.

Four—You can have the undivided attention of your human or pet.

Three—We all sleep a lot.

Two—You will be outside a lot more often than if you were living in a condo or apartment or house.

But the NUMBER ONE REASON DOGS WILL LOVE BEING ON A BOAT??? Their humans don’t take nearly as many showers so they are easier to find. Ah, odiferous.

Pure canine heaven.

Yours,

Dudley