Separation anxiety

J. Dudley’s natural, fluffy, white fur-mask had grown so thick in his 14-weeks on the planet, his hair was covering his eyes. It was time to take him to a groomer, said the vet, leading to another first for this long-time dog person.

We made an appointment for 7:15 a.m., set the alarm the night before, arrived at 7:14 and filled out paperwork.

Paperwork.

I had assumed, with a 7:15 a.m. appointment, we would be in-and-out, and able to watch and document another J. Dudley first in his short life, and so forth.

But, oh no, someone came in at the same time for an ‘express grooming,’ which I suppose means they paid extra to jump in line. All of which was reported as if we would understand what they mean by ‘express grooming’ and such a practice was acceptable.

I didn’t particularly care, except when one makes an appointment for 7:15 a.m., one might assume that there was a good reason for such an early appointment setting. Since we control out own calendars and don’t have to be in an office at a particular time, it didn’t matter to us, but what if it did?

The staff made appropriate ooooo and ahhhhh noises upon seeing Dudley, who has only come across one stranger he took an immediate dislike to. As an aside, Richard and I had the same experience with said jerk (who will remain nameless), but it was fascinating to witness our loving, little fluff-ball show his teeth and make a growling sound for the first time. But, I digress. Dudley love, love, loved the folks he saw at the groomers, which must be a part of onboarding training for staff as a tool to up-sell clients to buy an assortment of retail items available, including a $17 jar of dog peanut butter.

We did leave with the third grooming tool we now own, because each sales person before had said it was absolutely essential to use that particular instrument, not the comb or brush sold to us by someone else.

Who knew?

My pockets were full of mini-Milkbones to reward what would surely be exemplary behavior by our little guy, but he was whisked away behind a ‘staff only’ door and we were told to come back in three hours. Three hours!

I began to experience separation anxiety.

Dudley, on the other hand, was fine. He was asleep in a cage, according to the receptionist, who checked on my behalf

I asked if, since it was going to be three hours, could we just take him with us for awhile and bring him back when the groomer was free, but that was discouraged, as it was ‘good for him to acclimate to his surroundings.’

At this point, Richard was seeing something in me he couldn’t quite believe. I asked if I could bring in Dudley’s blanket and a toy, and worried that he didn’t eat yet that morning, and might be hungry. They allowed me to haul in his blanket and a toy.

I type these words in disbelief at my reaction to all of this.

It reminded me of the time I sent daily faxes to my then 8-year-old son when he went to Y Camp for the first time.

Richard wondered if I’d had a similar reaction when he was whisked away to have a stent placed in his heart a few years back.

---

About 15 years ago, an expert in global demographics asked his audience to predict what were the fastest-growing markets based on baby-boomers (us). We guessed health care, and funerals, but no one said what he was trying to get us to pick.

The pet industry, he accurately predicted, would grow exponentially. And that was before any of us saw Covid quarantine coming.

Have you had the experience of needing to buy a new mattress, then notice how many mattress stores there are?

Today, I’m seeing stores catering to pets all over the place, including one three blocks where we live that I never noticed before. They are all over the place, now, I realize. Stocked with toys selling for $15-$25 that cost - I’m guessing - .25 to make.

Does your local supermarket have an entire aisle dedicated to pets?

Can you imagine being an immigrant from a developing country and see all of this?

Oh, and the internet is full of options for pets. Have you heard of Bark Box? On the website it says they have over 6,000,000 clients. I gave up trying to figure out how much a monthly delivery would be after five minutes of entering information on the website just to tell you the cost, but suffice it to say we could probably pay for a hot school lunch for public school children for what it costs to send a monthly themed box of toys to a pet. Again, I’m just guessing.

There was a sign on a boutique pet shop in a Chicago suburb advertising: PET MASSAGE.

Hey, wonder what to do with those empty shopping malls? Try a dog park, with individual shops catering to dogs. Training? Sure, second floor where the old Radio Shack was. Doggy day care? On the first floor where Younkers once was. Then, add day spas for humans, nice restaurants that allow dogs, and watch it blossom. The old movie theater? Allow dogs and show ‘Benji,’ ‘101 Dalmatians,’ ‘Lassie’ reruns. Too much? I doubt it.

Baby boomers are in the swell of retirement age and the pet industry is exploding.

And J. Dudley Gilbert personifies the phenomenon.

Above: Before going to the groomer. After getting a $55 ‘puppy cut.’